I be still stuck in a strange place of trying to figure out if I'm un-happy in this relationship because it is a poor relationship or if I'm un-happy in this relationship because it is just like every other crappy relationship out there and that's just the way it is.
I'm feeling like it was not a saving grace but a horrible misfortune that I came across db and this board when h left. Sure it helped me to get through some hard times but it also put me in a mind set that love is a choice, relationships are hard work, one can change the r yada yada yada. When h left it was scary..I was 29 with two little babies...I was uncertain of what would happen to me suddenly a single mother. I also felt a sense of releif...I finally knew why I had felt that the m was nothing more than a facade...it was true...h never really did feel that way about me. On some level when h came home I knew it wouldn't last but didn't think he'd just fall back into his old ways.
I'm still stuck and I know nothing is going to get me unstuck unless I unstick myself. Trouble is I'm not ready to make a decision that involves more than just my life without honest open dialoge from the other person who's life it involved (in other words I don't want to be a bomb dropper) trouble is the other person involved isn't interested in an open honest dialoge...they have decided we got married and that's just the way it is.
