Why do these things happen...for the better I hope

[JR2007]

Well, the scriptures say that God won't make you run faster than you can stand. He won't test you more than you can stand.

Shoot, I think I'm in the worst case possible, right? I can't talk to my wife, I only see my son but a few hours a week, it's freakin horrible, right!?!?!?! But then I think, this isn't so bad, I can take more and I know I'll get more because I haven't been tested to the level I'm capable of supporting. Things could very well get worse before they get better for all of us. We just hve to decide how far our faith and trust in God will carry us. For me, it'll carry me to the end - hopefully a good end, but whatever it is, he'll support me.

Now, that may not make you feel any better, but it can help you not get discouraged. Life happens, it sucks sometimes, but when your trials are over, life will be good again, and you'll be a better man - if you don't let the trials beat you down.

[789]

I also screwed up big time today. About as anti-DB'ing as you possible can. My only hope is I screwed that up too.

[JR2007]

LOL, you can't just say that and not tell the rest. What happened?

[789]

Well, the scriptures say that God won't make you run faster than you can stand. He won't test you more than you can stand.

Shoot, I think I'm in the worst case possible, right? I can't talk to my wife, I only see my son but a few hours a week, it's freakin horrible, right!?!?!?! But then I think, this isn't so bad, I can take more and I know I'll get more because I haven't been tested to the level I'm capable of supporting. Things could very well get worse before they get better for all of us. We just hve to decide how far our faith and trust in God will carry us. For me, it'll carry me to the end - hopefully a good end, but whatever it is, he'll support me.

Now, that may not make you feel any better, but it can help you not get discouraged. Life happens, it sucks sometimes, but when your trials are over, life will be good again, and you'll be a better man - if you don't let the trials beat you down.

He won't test me more than I can take?? Well I sure hope he knows me better than I do myself. I also do not see how my life can get more screwed up. I know it is only an excuse, I never had any of these problems while drinking my beer !!!
No I will not do that, but honestly, I am at my wits end

[789]

I was going too, but it sounded better when I left it at that.

I have talked to an attorney, he does not think it will even make it to a court room. But he also looked into what the worst case scenerio would be. Worst prison would be is a max 4-6 years, he does not think that will happen at all. I could be fined up to
$10,000, also he does not think that will happen.

Well in my stupid frame of mind, I only heard the negatives and the worst parts. So in seeing my W today, I told her all that had happened and what was going on. Then were I really blew it, and this is were I hope I even screwed this up

Me to W
" W, if I were you, I would go file for D today so you won't get financially involved with all this "

W " " yep, no response.

[JR2007]

funny thing is, that could work to your advantage. Saying something like that shows you're concerned about her and don't want her going down with the ship. She'll think you're a responsible guy and won't want YOU to go at this alone. I've seen this tactic in other "Divorce-Busting" type books. It could actually work out to your benefit.

Just stay positive man - you'll get through it. By the way, the lawyer will tell you worst case scenario - it's his job. Then, he'll go get you the best case scenario. They're not going to put you away for getting into your own house to get your stuff.

[JR2007]

Oh, and not telling your wife what's up, and trying to protect her from bad news - yeah, that's worse - I hve first hand knowledge of that one. So, it's not all bad.

[789]

I did tell her, I didn't want her to find out any other way.
Also I truly do not want her to get financially hit by this, one of us is bad enough.

[789]

I do need to do something, just do not know what that is at the moment, I have to get myself out of this funk. I think I am starting to be like a WAS, I am seeing nothing but bad in everything, including her.

[JR2007]

That's easy, do a marriage inventory of all the good stuff that's happened to you and your W. I don't know if you caught the one Jazz did in his thread, or the one I started in my last thread. It brings a lot of pain to the forefront, but it's because you can't deny the good times you had. That's why you're not bailing out of your marriage.

I took 10 minutes and came up with 3 pages of great, fun, happy, interesting, exciting times I had with my W. It hurt because I miss all those things, it helped because I choose to remember her like that, and I know it can be better than that again in the future with her.

Try that.