I know, but you can only do so many things by yourself, and I have been. I just hate it. I guess it is not bad just different. But being over 40, you just end up having all married friends. I have been golfing, bowling, gym, etc...
Guess that is the part I am missing, I know my friends still like me and my W for that matter. I think they are just pulling way back also, that way if we get back together, my wife or myself won't have to worry about what might have been said and no one will have any hard feelings.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Guess that is the part I am missing, I know my friends still like me and my W for that matter. I think they are just pulling way back also, that way if we get back together, my wife or myself won't have to worry about what might have been said and no one will have any hard feelings.
That's a great way to think about it. I was thinking none of my friends were calling me because they were unsure of what to say to me, or they don't want to talk to me because I'm in the middle of a divorce, or something stupid like that. It doesn't really bother me, I just realized the other day that a lot of people I considered good friends haven't called me once.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
They are probably still good friends, just at a loss of what to do or say. I know with mine, I can still call any time I need. It is more the social gatherings that have gone away. I thought about it, if my W was still hanging out with all of them, I would probably think they were all talking sh*t about me, and I believe if it was the other way my W would too. Everyone is just like me I guess, waiting to see what she does next. I do know one fact about all of our friends, they truly want to see our family back together.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
I do know one fact about all of our friends, they truly want to see our family back together.
This is a sign of TRUE friends. I know we have lots of friends like this too. I wish there was something they could do, but they can't control the situation any more than I can. Some positive influences in my W's life would be nice though. She has enought people telling her it's OK to be divorced.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
She has enought people telling her it's OK to be divorced.
I believe my W has enough people telling her that also. Mainly her friends, probably even family to a degree.
What gets me, and it is something I never thought about in the past is that D has become such and everyday occurence. Nobody takes it as a shock anymore, it has become almost like taking the trash out. Everyone feels for the person who does not want the D, and at the same time I believe those same people tell the one that does want it, to just do what they want. Does anyone ever talk to the one leaving and say anything, like hold on, have you thought everything out, are you sure you are making the right decision or an impulsive one. Is it the love missing or something else. Do they suggest counciling, I think not. They just say do what you have to do.
Ok, I think my day is starting to go down the tubes.
Last edited by 789; 06/04/0704:38 PM.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Now, don't let this talk get you down. Remember your W is perfectly capable of making up her own mind. (I'm stealing this but...) the things we think up in our head are probably worse than what's really going on.
Also remember the friends and family just want us to be happy. So if the person leaving says she's miserable, her friends and family will tell her to do whatever will get her happiest the fastest. Problem is, divorce isn't going to make her happy. It will make things worse. She know that in her heart, that's why she's struggling to go through with it - I think.
Seeing you doing well, and being happy, and being with your S, and showing her you're trustworthy, etc. Those things will bring her back. Stay positive, you've had some nice little signs popping up lately, focus on those!
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Things cannot get worse. I am at my ropes end. Last friday I went into our house, neither of us live there. The bank repo'd it earlier in the week.
We have for the most part taken out 90% of the stuff. I went in and took out the dryer and fridge, I had sold them online, I also took a couple of truck loads of misc stuff. Well I was suppose to meet a lawyer or whatever at the house this morning. Low and behold, I was arrested for breaking and entering, and burglary. Thankfully they did not hold me long. Fingerprints, picture and a notice to appear. Handcuffs suck by the way when not being used for playfull use.
Can life get any farther down. I don't think it can. To hell with all of them
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Probably not, but think of how well I could go "dark" and work on myself. I am just trying to find humor with anything right now and it is not working. Sh*t where is amy with those boots to get me thinking straight
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
