I am so upset regarding porn.......HELP!

[glamgirl]

First of all the porn thing I just don't understand. Prior to separation, H and I had an active sex life. H never complained, if anyone wasn't getting it enough that would be me. I always asked if he was satisfied etc. This always lead me to wonder if you are satisfied why the need for porn? Can anyone explain?

As far as work, this guy was getting promoted and he just had an aura about him that just seemed off. He had pictures of a family life plastered all over his office. Well liked, but employees would say oh he doesn't like anyone in his office, his office was dark, he had his desk shoved up by the window. I had an intuition about him and was just curious. This gets me everytime. I have strong intuition about people and really wanted to see if I was correct in my suspicions. Sure enough by looking at the history, it was confirmed. Now, keep in mind after his promotion, I got his office and computer. So call it what you want, but now I was checking the history of my own computer per say. Hey I don't have an issue what you do in the privacy of your own home, but come on porn on company time and yeah let's promote this guy too is not ok with me!

I know that H would have a field day with confronting of the porn. For whatever reason, he thinks looking is ok. I am thinking this is some kind of test. He mentioned about a month ago, that if we get back together it would be a risk. If I haven't changed and still in his mind doing the same thing over and over, why should we get back together. Distorted view, like oh you had NO part in this separation. Life is a RISK!

I like the idea of putting it out on a notepad by the computer. Hmmmm I need to meditate on that one.