LG... I guess I feel so powerless against this. I am sure underneath a huge cry or scream is brewing.
This whole thing is similar, in a way, to what I say to you about the affair train coming...you see it, you want the course to change, but all you can do is your part, which is to be the best person you can be ( whatever that means).
Okay, I am rambling...time to get some zzz's. Thank you for the prayers.
You are so right - we just need to focus on being the best persons we can be, no matter what we see coming, because that is the highest path we can choose.
Recently, I have been receiving a lot of comfort from a very small 4" x 3" book called "The Quiet Mind: Sayings of White Eagle".
Here is one saying that I just read:
The Infinite and Eternal Garden
Around you, or a little above you, maybe, is a beautiful garden, the infinite and eternal garden of the spirit; from this state of life, with its beauty and peace, and the love of its inhabitants, we draw close to you in your physical life to help you. We come to raise you above the limitations of pain and grief, into that true home, that heavenly life from which you have all come, and toward which you are all journeying.
- White Eagle
Me 46 WAW 45 M 21 yrs
WAW: "I need to be alone" 12/06 W moves out 3/07 Mediation finalized 08/08
The quote I shared was not intended to prepare you for the passing of your father - rather the message is that our loved ones in spirit draw close to us in our physical life, to help us in our times of need. By raising our consciousness to the level of the eternal garden, we can feel the love and support coming from them, and meet our day to day challenges as best we can. In other words, we can connect to the heavenly life, and receive the peace of mind, while we are still here on the Earth plane.
LG
Me 46 WAW 45 M 21 yrs
WAW: "I need to be alone" 12/06 W moves out 3/07 Mediation finalized 08/08
Prayers for you and your family. And stick up for your Dad. I'm sure the hospital is doing the best they can but Watchdog mode is the best way to be. It shows your Dad you care about him.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
I know I am not the first to go through all the stuff I go through, but it sure feels like it sometimes. I find I get to a point of acceptance and then I want to throw a tantrum!
I feel fortunate because there is still fire in my father's eyes, and I told him so. The essence of who he is is still there, if that makes sense.
I see to be quite strong when at the hospital...the pangs of sadness come when I am away.
Once again, I appreciate the chance to document some of this. It helps.
I am back in NY. Not much new here...my dad is still in the hospital; he is recovering from the pneumonia and sepsis but is very, very weak ( can't get out of bed). We are trying to figure out what to do from here. My brother has been great, and my H has doen a wonderful job tending to the homefront. It's been exhausting and it's good to be home. I am going back down on Sunday.
Are you glad you went? I'm thinking you are. I'm glad your dad is still hanging on. People do recover from these things. It's good also that the men in your life are holding up their end of things. How's your mom doing? Having been in her shoes, it's nice to get away for a bit when you're sure your H is in good hands. Keep us posted.
Lil, Going down there was absolutely the right thing to do. I am so glad that my fears didn't hold me back. I am going back down on Sunday.
Both my parents have guarded their independence, but change is in the air. I talked to my mom about living with me, but she wants nothing to do with that idea. The thing is, she really can't be alone. So I still have a number of hurdles to face with both my parents. It's good to have my brother for support as well.
My dad is still in the hospital...the pneumonia is better but he is very weak, and the plan is to place him in a nursing home. He requires too much care to be at home, at least for now. And so it goes. I will be making frequent trips to visit my parents in the coming months. My brother is on board, and so is my H, and my kids, for that matter, and my mother as well. Everyone is doing his/her part, and I can't ask for anything more.
Three years ago this past May I came to this BB in quite a confused state, on the brink of divorce. It's been a painful process, but I have grown, and I see change in others around me. Although I am sad, I feel I am on the right path for me and feel a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Thank you and big huggs to the participants here on this BB...I could not have reached these goals without you.
