Questions for all the "Cheated"

[RedHeadWife]

I'm feeling very low lately. I am trying not to dwell on negative feelings, but can't seem to help it. In H's last email, he actually said how much he misses & loves us and that there are only 4 people he wants to be w/ -- me & our 3 boys. Unfortunately, I feel almost like I have a hard time keeping positive "feelings" for H going and doing all the supporting/loving things I have been doing for him while deployed because of all of the things that have transpired -- D bomb, A's, etc. I can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that H seems/seemed to think that he was "warranted" in doing the things he did because he felt I wasn't emotionally there for him -- I think that was his major issue in our M. I have faced and dealt w/ my transgressions in our M, but I'm having such a hard time dealing w/ all the trash that H threw at me and all the things he has done to me that hurt so much and still does. I'm starting IC tomorrow so hopefully this guy will help me deal w/ some of this.