Why do these things happen...for the better I hope

[789]

Well dinner was good and short. She was back to her normal self, the one were I keep thinking someone is behind me while talking, I hate that feeling.

[JR2007]

No man, keep the goal in mind. She isn't going to be chipper right off the bat. She has to make SURE you're changed. It's not going to be easy, but she's now "expecting" you to be at dinner??? Take the little changes in her as great signs. Add them up over time and next thing you know, you're on your way home. Keep things in perspective - you're doing great and you have a real chance here. Rub some of that off on my situation, will ya please?

[789]

I realize that, I even said last nite it would probably continue to go up and down. She was over all in a good mood. Just wondered who she was talking too. I wonder if I can go to Mexico and get a big bottle of Prozac cheap LOL

I don't even ant to think about being on my way home yet, if I did that and it went backwards, I would be having that crashing feeling again. I think I will wait a while longer.

[789]

I think Amy is going to make we wait a few nights before she gets to me. She probably wants to see how bad my nightmares get before she makes them a reality.

LOL, reminds me of my W.

[789]

Well doesn't look like a whole lot is going to go on today.
I do get to pick up S after school and keep him over night.
At least that is the one good thing going on today !

[JR2007]

Well doesn't look like a whole lot is going to go on today.
I do get to pick up S after school and keep him over night.
At least that is the one good thing going on today !

Excellent! Being with the kids is so nice.

I've realized I even took my S for granted. I don't know if you felt that at all, but this whole separation makes me want to be a better dad - a super-dad!

well, keep up the good work, seems like you're doing great!

[789]

Oh yeah, I realize that now, you get so use to the wife or son just being around, you do end up taking everything for granted.
Not any more, I take every moment I can to be with him, and not just to sit around. I have been having so much fun when we are together. Now I am just pissed at myself for all those wasted years.

[JR2007]

I hear that man. When I get the chance, my W and S will see that I'm dead serious about making sure the events of the last 3 years never happen again. They never feel neglected, they never have angry husband or dad. I'm not that guy anymore! I'm the guy I'm supposed to be and they need to see that all the time.

My S has been having a great time with me. He does mention he wishes mom was with us, and I just say, "It's OK, we'll have a great time anyway" and he's fine. He is only 4.

As your S sees more of your love for him, it'll transfer to your W. She wants assurances that you'll be a great dad. When she sees that, she'll be able to trust you more, and open herself up to you more. She also doesn't want your family to break up because she knows it's not good for you 2 or your S.

[789]

[quote=789]
well, keep up the good work, seems like you're doing great!

It may seem like I am doing great, but I am not so sure. The last few days, other than work and dinners, I have pretty much gone back into hibernating.

All my friends are married and over time I seem to have faded out of doing things with them, guess I am just like the 5th wheel and not really fitting in anyplace but at home.

[JR2007]

All my friends are married and over time I seem to have faded out of doing things with them, guess I am just like the 5th wheel and not really fitting in anyplace but at home.

LOL, I'm in the exact same boat. But you know what? being able to do things yourself is a skill we need to acquire. Being with friends and family is a nice distraction, but I think it kind of feeds into the neediness thing (it does for me anyway). So, doing things alone is a 180. I have to like/love myself in order for my W to, so this is all just part of the process to me. It does feel weird. It feels weird not having my W to go home to every night. But look what I did with it when I had that?!?!?! We have to be confident, independent MEN! When we achieve that our Ws will be attracted to us again, and we can make things better for our families. Just a thought that's kind of working for me, maybe it'll help you out too...