By all means, practice her love language and continue small talk for now, though.
I am also not convinced you have done the soul-searching required to take the steps to be back together without screwing it all up again. I'm sorry to sound mean because I know you have been through a lot and are sincerely hurt. I don't mean to drag you down but I have seen several people jump the gun only to end up right back here a few months later.
If you want to save your family, there's some nasty grunt work you have to do. It starts not only with realizing how you should have been a better husband but getting down to the nuts and bolts of WHY you WEREN'T IN THE FIRST PLACE.
