hey- sorry you are still milling about these boards. you and i have so much in common with our situations. have you tried just letting your W go on and on about whatever is making her so unhappy without interruption? one thing that has helped me is just to listen and empathize with my H when he is talking about things i did that hurt him. remember perception is reality. your wife truly believes you have done these things to her, and no amount of convincing, explanation and finger pointing is going to help. part of healing is being heard. once your M is more stable, then you get your turn. or you just decide to let it go. in the long run, seriously, who gives a sh#t who did what to whom.
i don't know. who am i to give advice. i got back in the door, and have been living with a miserable H ever since.
