Annie, An excellent posting! You've hit the nail squarely on the head. These guys feel like they can never live up to us and our expectations while in crisis, therefore, they go out and find some two bit woman or man who is in same boat and will validate and reaffirm what they are feeling and that's when the stars light up. These people are just so far down in the dumps on themselves that they feel that they have to cut us loose so that we can find someone better than they are not realizing, that if they were to seek assistance, they could be okay. Deep down, they know they are screwed up and think that they have failed us miserably. Once they've crossed over the line and had an affair, they feel even worse. So, it's not you or any of the posters here, it's about how they feel about themselves and how they go about dealing with their warped realities.
Nicola, go back and re-read Annie's posting to you. She's very clear on what is going on and I'm right there beside her--you deserve far better than what your h has dished out. You deserve better in this world.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
