Hi CL- Thanks again for your thoughts. I appreciate what you are telling me, but it is such an internal struggle. Everyone says you need to GAL and focus on making yourself happy. How do you do this when you have to stay in limbo? The thing that is going to make me happiest right now is to make myself feel more settled, like I am at home. Granted, if I buy this house it will take sometime to make it feel like home, but at least I am moving in the right direction, right? Additionally, if I get this house, I will have lots to do (painting, decorating, landscaping, etc.) thus keeping me from focusing on my M problems. My family is advising me to buy the house for financial reasons as well. It seems like almost every time I want take a step forward on my own, there is a reason why I shouldn't.
Originally Posted By: Concerned_Listener
You two are still in a "settling the muddy waters," phase.
I keep hearing that I am in the "muddy waters" phase. Are there phases to separation? I would like to know more about these phases and what to expect. I know you mentioned that 3 months into the separation is still early. It seems like a lifetime to me!!! For me, it would be so helpful if I had some idea of what I can expect.
I understand completely what you are saying about giving them positives and appreciating what positives we get from them. I know I have been so bad about this and I think I have done everything wrong. Sometimes I wonder if I have done too much damage already to come back from this.
I have decided to talk to my H about the house. I sent him a text asking when would be a good time to talk. No reply. I think I need to tell my H what I am thinking of doing, that it is something I need to do for me but that I still really want our M to work out. If I don't hear from him, at least I tried.
Thanks so much for your thoughts CL. You have helped me so much. You seem to have so much of this figured out...but yet your W still hasn't??? Are you seeing progress in your M???
UD
