I miss my boys so much. I miss my wife. The humiliation and depression are still so real. I've been sober a year and that's great. But I've been unable to hold down a job. I can't focus.
We haven't talked about anything other than the kids for months now. I don't tell her I love her or miss her. I just leave her alone. She went on a cruise with her boyfriend and left the kids with me for nine days last month. It was great seeing them for more than a weekend. I wish they lived with me but I can't afford to have them full time.
I really don't know what to do anymore. I am so sad. I'm 35 years old living with my parents. I feel like such a looser. I am an unlovely creature. Alone and afraid.
I don't know why I am back here. I used to post a lot and there were some people here that really helped my through a hard time. I feel worse these past few days than I've felt in months.
Thanks for letting me rant. I really appreciate it.
