Husband, It sounds like you have made great progress in some of your DB efforts, and are disappointed that you're not seeing a better outcome. You want your M to be in a Piecing mode, where you two are solving problems as partners.
I don't believe that your W does not love you anymore. Her love for you is lost in some of her issues. It's still there and will reveal itself again someday. The form and patterns of the R will change, but the love will return.
Yes, you are in a fog. It's OK. The "muddy waters of your situation" still need to settle.
Detachment is one of the more difficult skills to master in DB and life. I get glimpses of it sometimes, and then I go back to worrying, fear, and anger. I am seeing glimpses of it more often though.
When I get it, it involves acceptance of my situation, being grateful for what my W has done for me over the years, and the positive connection we currently share. It involves accepting uncertainty, and letting the story evolve. It involves cultivating meaningful activity for myself, and goodwill and kindness towards my W and others.
Keep practicing DB and other life skills. This is our best chance to influence the R in a positive way.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
