It is okay to think "my W just does not love me any more."...but really it is not time to believe...my H wasn't able to tell me he loved me for over a year AFTER he came home...
The first time you fall in love it happens so fast and so easy...but after a distancing by one spouse it takes a long time to get that back...there isn't much "newness" to wear off because they know us...there isn't much mystery because they know us...we have to show them part of us they don't know...the strength and guts we are made of...
Example...my H is going to counseling for child abuse issues that have come up in MLC...he just started...he came back and said "You know what the C said to me?"...I asked what it was and he said "She said, 'Your wife must love you very much. Women have bailed on a man for much less.'"....and he didn't even tell her that he had an online A that started out as an EA and then he left me for OW so he could pursue the PA!!!...that made me feel good because I have a feeling the C would have conked H over the head for being such an idiot...I did little things that he wasn't aware of at the time...like putting him on my medical insurance when I got a job that had it (good thing he has been diagnosed with diabetes, depression, and alcoholism...been hospitalized 1 time for a week and had 3 ER visits...totalling over 75K in bills that we paid maybe a $100 out of pocket)...so you have to just let her feelings for you roll off your back like butter on hot corn on the cob!!!...
I know how hard this is...but if you can ride this out...there is that possibility that your W may return to you...and not it doesn't get easier then either...but in time you realize it is worth the effort (pain) you put into it...it hasn't been that long for you so you really need to just pump yourself up and dig in for the long haul...and I know how hard that is...so set small goals for yourself...set some distant goals too...I had to wait over a 1 1/2 years for H to even approach me...then over another year before he said ILY again....if I had of focused on time then I would have gone out of my mind and not been here when he returned...that is GAL is so vitally important...and friends are too...so go make some!!!!
I used to cry everytime I heard the song lyrics that said "I can't make you love me if you don't"....now H admits he did love me all that time...he was just a mess and as convoluted as his thinking was he felt he was protecting me from anymore pain... so there you have it from the mouth of the WAS..
