I am so sorry you are going through this. I just have to say you can take advice from other people. But in the end you have to handle this the way your heart leads you to handle it. Only you can know just how much crap you can take.
I think exposure is good. She created this. Let her wallow in it and see how that feels for awhile. Let her go stay with her parents and feels what it is like to lose her whole family just for some kicks from a younger man. Let her think about how her finances as a part time instructor are going to support her. The life she was once very comfortable with may just be over. Let her face the humiliation of what she has done. I don't know how your state is but in my state you very much hold the upper hand in a court of law if the spouse cheated.
I think you took a very firm stand for yourself and your dignity.She maybe just thought the old non-confrontational Choc would just sit by and never say a word. You are showing her a whole new side to you. A complete 180.
