I know what you mean -- about the control issue, that is. My problem isn't fear of other women; it's fear of H not needing me. I can sound real together, but I know that I have issues about boundaries and fears of being overwhelmed with someone else's needs, so control of how H needs me has become part of our R-dance.

I have only come to this understanding since H left, and now I wish to heck that I could do things differently. Still, I don't know that he didn't connect to me just because of this dance. The problem came when for whatever reason, H decided to stop dancing.

So, now I have to work on me and my control and boundary issues. This is where the meditation comes in, and the C, and trying to GAL in case I really blew it or H just couldn't stay in the marriage out of fear of losing that dance.

BLAH -- I was doing so well earlier. \:\( I think I need to go to bed.

I hope tomorrow goes well for you, whatever it brings. I'm going to try to get back that great feeling I had today. (Ah, the joys of DBing)

Anne

Me: 45
WAH: 46
Married: 23 yrs; together: 28 yrs (if this year's included)
S1: 17
S2: 13
Bomb w/ H walking out: 1/10/07