MLC or WAS - seems it doesn't much matter...

[Walking]

I've never had a thread on the MLC Forum. When my husband and I first separated (about 2 and a half years ago) I posted on Infidelity because I couldn't bear the thought of going through the pain I was feeling for years - and that's what I perceived I would be sentencing myself to if I posted on MLC - or indeed if I admitted to myself that my H was in MLC.

I/we went through the usual pain of separation and divorce. We separated in November 2004, we divorced in July 2006. While I was going through it, I was such a good little DBer (I thought) and put up with way more than I should have.

I allowed myself to be put in the position of living in the family home and continuing to be the primary parent of my two steps sons, even though their biological mother lived 2 suburbs away and xH was living with his new lover about 1km away. We eventually got divorced, because his new partner set a date for their wedding, and he finally told me we had to rush through the divorce - which I did, and he was 'fortunate' enough to get the divorce decree on the day he got married. Nice .... I wonder if that's a world record - I wonder if it's legal?

Anyway, to cut a long story short. I am finally convinced that he has suffered a very nasty mid life crisis, because last week, he called me, after nearly a year of a pretty angry silence between us - to tell me he loves me, he can't remember how this happened, he is miserable and he doesn't know what happened during the past 2 years - he doesn't want to be married to his new wife - he can't believe this has happened between us because we were soooo good together - and is there any way we could turn the clock back and reconcile.

I just about fell off my chair, first from shock and then from hysterical laughter - told him I had a meeting to go to and that I'd call him back in a few days.

I'm very angry. Now, two years later, I've only recently sincerely 'let go' of him and what we had. I've only recently become grateful to him and her for all that I've had the opportunity to learn through this worst experience of my life. I've only recently started envisaging a wonderful future for myself made of my own dreams and my own plans. And he's 'woken up'. Puh - leezzz.

If this is not evidence of the MLC left to run it's course, I don't know what is.

He said in our brief conversation that he couldn't believe I didn't 'fight' for the marriage!!!! HELLO - were we in the same relationship ????? He can't remember it. He honestly doesn't know what happened.

I don't know what I'll do - and I think in all honesty it's just too late for me,but I wanted to post it here because despite all the doubt and seeming evidence to the contrary - it's true. If we leave them alone, and get on with our own life, they wake up and wonder what happened. He has!! It's unbelievable. I shouldn't be surprised, because everything I've read and heard tells me this is one possible outcome, but I didn't think he'd be in that category.

I knew he had all the MLC "symptoms & triggers" - but I still didn't really believe he was in a depth of crisis that you'd have to be to make the decisions that he made.

So - there we have it folks. Didn't matter where I posted, or what I classified him as - MLC or WAS ... seems the outcome, depending on how we handle it, is often the same.

I'll give him a ring tommorrow and suggest he and his wife get some counselling .....