Don't worry about OM. He will become a faded emotionless memory. I know. This has happened to me.
I think your wife is doing some really sweet things for you. Definitely hug her and tell her she's a hot sex goddess (Hee hee!!!). By the way, a book that I've heard good things about is "The Passionate Marriage." It may help you get out of the "roommate" stage.
Another thing, menopause is a notoriously difficult time for women. Try not to take her mood swings personal. Also, MLC and women... I've known quite a few women who've had affairs and then walked out of their marriages. Your wife hasn't done that. She wants to be with you in spite of emotional upheaval, the pull of an old flame, and possible MLC... that's not easy!!! I think she really loves you and this shows me she's determined to be with you and keep her family together.
(P.s. don't worry about losing the one friend you had.... I expect you to go out and find a local group of guys you can hang out with once or twice a week for some guy talk; i.e. local Starbucks, a class, church group, or? ... that's your assignment!!)
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
