So I googled or called all the numbers I wrote down. They were either for houses or the school. I think he wants to coach in the district football league this year. I called on DSs phone just in case.
Then later, I texted DH telling him I was bored and did he want to come over and play cards. Do you hear the crickets?
He did have dinner here before he took J home for the night. He asked how I was doing and I said good (really cheery like) and he chuckled. Then I asked how he was doing. Good. At dinner, I looked him in the eye again. Today it was intentional... it didn't feel natural... I had to force myself to meet his eyes and not look away.
I hear ya about the teens. 16yoDS is in theater and those kids have really rallied around DS and from conversations with him, I have their support, too. He has this one friend who is the sweetest thing. 7yo loves him to death. He's really good with him, too. Anyway, this kid calls me "mom" and hugs me when he leaves. Theater kids seem to be so misunderstood, but this really is a great group of kids.
Ooooh!! I found this recipe that I haven't made in years cuz DH doesn't like it. Guess what I'm making for dinner next week!!
You know, I feel I am making these changes for me, but when they're not noticed or appreciated or commented on, I feel rejected and how's that supposed to help my self esteem? Okay, okay, okay, so my friends notice... LOL!!
We have a C appt on Monday. HELP!! What do we talk about???!! I came this [] close to dropping by DH's tonight. I know I can't cry. I know he can see me weak. I know I can't beg. I swear those of us who DB must be the strongest people in the world!!!
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WTF? He just called and said he just got my message and he didn't want me to think he was blowing me off, that they were watching a movie. He said I should know if I really want something I can call. I said I know that, but I hesitate to do that and he said he understood. I don't get him. Sometimes he can be just cold and others SEEM so caring. I did say I wasn't here sweating it!! (liar ) *Whew* Thank goodness for you!!
) *Whew* Thank goodness for you!! 
