Bridget? Thank you for you awesome support and encouragement! I also am encouraged by your sitch too.
Well here goes. Our joint appt was interesting...We did talk about communication and also some other issues came up. I did very little talking. One of the issues that came up was my h's need for "independance" in a lot of areas of his life. The C commented on my h's strong feelings (my h was quite verbally agitated). I will admit that I was taken aback by the "independance" stance.
But h also wants to share a life with me. The C pointed out that my h's idea of "independance" (control....hmmm interesting..) could be preventing relationship intimacy between the two of us. I was a bit shaken up after the appt. Ok...I cried. But my h and I continued to talk after the appt.That is where we probably had our biggest break thru.
Finances have been such a sore point for h and me. H is willing to sit down and discuss finances now and reaffirmed that he is committed to our marriage. He seems to have taken another look at what independance means to him and he is willing to spend more time doing things with me that I like too.
It is a start. We have some excellent hand outs on different types of communication and a book recommendation. My h and I are very good at "conversing" but the way we communicate what our needs are does need a lot of work.
When I look back over the years I can see my h in a "stuttering MLC". Crisises followed by apparant calm and then escalating again to a crisis situation. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I do have to live in the present and hope that what I do today will postively influence what is to be in the future.
I hope and pray that my h and I will try to be patient with each other and continue to "slog" it out when times get tough. It takes 2 for marriage repair. Thank you all for your invaluable advise and caring here. Especially you Bridget (aka "the chatty" lol).
God bless you all and best wishes for you all in piecing back your marriages. I know my marriage will not be the same as a result of going thru my h's MLC. It is going to be even better!!!!
