I do think that she has been humiliated. That came when D18 confronted her with the rumors she'd heard, the behavior she'd witnessed (she personally witnessed her mother leaving the group at the sports pub, at same time as OM, and then not come up for another 75 minutes; hiding of text messages; secretive phone calls), and the godawful Google search topics she had found on the computer. Bravely, she confronted her mother with ALL of this, and told her how much she had hurt her.
And D20 still has yet to have HER talk with her, which will only further push my wife deeper into her own chit that she's made.
I worry about her fleeing, rather than facing the humiliation of this all, but I cannot control that. Confrontation and exposure has been the only thing that has even gotten her off the dime, and so it was necessary. I can only hope that my loving gestures and my occasional reminders of "We care for you" and my occasional (but brief) strong hugs are letting her know that there is still a warm light waiting for her to come back to here in her family.
There's a fine line between "humliation" and godly "conviction." I think God is dealing with her, thru me, and thru her daughters, and she is rebelling thus far, but starting to be broken. My sister likes to say that "God will break you before He'll fix you," and Mrs. Choc. needs to be broken. It's happening slowly.
But I also know that you have to "get real" with Him, and she has to "get real" with her husband and her daughters and her parents, and she is only sloowwwwwwly doing that. And I believe she has only "gotten real" with OM by trying to "manage" the relationship, like an alcoholic tries to manage their drinking, by saying "no sleeping together/no texting/no phone calls to my house", but still wants him to train her.
She still doesn't realize that that's not going to work, because the chemicals running around her brain from his contact are preventing her from reconnecting emotionally with her husband, and working on her marriage. "NO CONTACT" means "NO CONTACT." And so, Truman must drop the next atom bomb, which makes me very sad.
