Need another opinion, is my W OM, friend or more?

[WAW in the OC]

Well at midnight our time my wife strolled in after what was probably a romp w OM. I had been asking my kids about mom and my s11 and d9 both said she was not being a very good mom since she comes home, locks herself in her room and doesnt come out. Only on her nights does she cook dinner, eat w/ them then retreat back to her room.

Well my kids noticed something about her mean attitude and her isolation. They got me thinking so when my W came home I told her we need to talk about kids.

I told her our kids felt she was not around for them. I told her she's a good mom but she hasn't been spending time w/ them when she's here. She started to defend herself that she took them to the beach this weekend(big deal). I told her I just want my kids to have the mom back they used to. That I could get a GF if I wanted but my kids were my priority.

She started to berate me and I told her to F$$K off! I told her she doesn't own me and I will give her the D. BTW this is a total 180 of what I would normally do. I sd she should focus on kids because she's too busy screwing around w/ BF and spending too much time w/ him.

I never used that language w/ her ever,then I flipped her the bird and I had some difficulty because I have never done it before. It was a little awkward, had trouble keeping only the middle finger up.

At this point I might have nailed the coffin on my M, but I feel my kids need their mom back and she wasn't coming back on her own.

Soon to be single.