I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, and I understand it all too well. It hurts too much to think about what WAS is doing at any given moment. I guess I have really learned (through practice) to detach and to GAL. But it's a process of grieving and - day by day -letting time take the edge off. The God of my understanding has given me courage, grace, and patience I guess. I am grateful for that. The beginning months were very, very hard, I wasn't sure I would make it with my sanity intact. I relied (and still do) on my friends, the support here, the love of God, and on myself. I now know unequivocally that I am one STRONG woman.
To me prayer has made all the difference. I'm not a religious person, but I have a strong belief in God and I believe that prayer sometimes is the only power I have in all of this. I pray for the sunlight of the spirit to shine on H and let him see beyond the darkness. In his case it really holds true since he has gone headlong into the Goth scene w/ Ow. He's having a delayed adolescence and identity crisis IMHO.
I would love to find a man who would love and cherish both me and my son, and that truly wants to be in a committed (for life) R. I don't know if that exists anymore. But I do know that God will lead me to him when the time is right. Maybe it will be H, or maybe not. Life is short and I want to get all I can from this one!
Take it easy. Time will ease the pain. Focus on YOU, your kids, and growing from this. Tears are a form of healing..let them come.
Monica
My sitch: Me 40 H 30 M 8 yrs 1 S5.5 Bomb Oct 2005 Sep Nov 2005 H w/ Ow I filed for LS June 2007 H responded w/ D 2007 I have sole P custody, joint L Just need to take care of Final Judgement papers
