NikkiB #15 (moving to Piecing)

[NikB]

Hi all - ST and Nick, thanks for checking in!

Will reply to you two first.

ST - oh my gosh, your neighbor has H's dream garage. He wants to buy the property behind us, tear down the house, and put in a 6-car garage. And sometimes he only charges people a case of beer. Funny. He has done all kinds of racing and currently owns both a drag-race and a road-race car. The racing tomorrow is road race - much more exciting video than drag racing, for sure. It's at a track that's off in some hilly farmland. Last time I went with him we came up over one hill and saw a bunch of cows eating in a field! Cracked me up (in between gasping for breath from the speed!).

Yep, I have 3 goldfish. They're currently about 2" apiece so that's what, roughly 6 gallons of tank? So I'm hoping they're ok in 10 gallons for awhile. I got a really good filter (BioWheel - at least, seems good from what I've read) and plan to change 20% of the water weekly until they get settled. Does that sound like I'm on the right track?? Good to know about the ghost shrimp, thanks! I heard they help keep the gravel clean so that's why I liked the idea.

I noticed tonight that one of them has fin rot so was a little bummed about that - it's VERY mild, just gotta figure out how to help him/her out before it gets worse. I put in some "Quick Cure" tonight, but any other suggestions? I got mixed advice online about isolating that fish vs. not... most seemed to say the stress from another move would kill it and I could probably cure it without the other fish getting sick, so I left it in the tank for now. It looks happy enough but there's some damage to its tail.

So some journaling... weird night...

I caved on the snooping this afternoon and found out that H has been calling OW again - usually 1 call just about after lunch time and one right after work. They are all short calls, but something about the pattern, I can't help wondering what they're about. What's the point? I mean they work right next to each other... is it "bye" from work? Is it "meet you at XYZ"??? I dunno. Oh and he's deleting it off his phone. I can see it online but not on the phone's call log. Bleh. When I was detaching and in LRT it was easier - just ignore it right? But now, I'm kind of lost. He's not only doing it, he's hiding it. It's so weird because I do feel he's pretty commited to being here but what the heck?? I am just confused.

He came home tonight and was SO excited about racing, practically bouncing off the walls.. sooo I should have said something but all of a sudden I just didn't feel OK about going "Oh BTW I snooped and know you're still contacting OW." I know I was grouchy and distant and I know that's why though. I did my own thing for awhile and then he wanted to go shopping together for "racing snacks" (intead of the $4 apiece waters at the track!) - so we did that and also went out to grab dinner. H mentioned that his sister had called and plans to drop the bomb on her H this Sunday. He told me "It's pretty bad, she said she wouldn't even hang out with him as a friend at this point, but she's upset because she ends up feeling like the bad guy." I did a LOT of listening and validating.

Later in the convo H said "I should have talked her out of it before she even married him" and "Heck I waited until my 30s to get married and..." and just trailed off. Yuck... does he mean "and now look, I'm trapped with you." (I know, I know, I'm projecting...). During this I asked once "Does he even know she's unhappy?" and H said "How could he NOT?" - thought that was interesting. I said quietly "Well, it's possible he doesn't.. hope that she can find what she needs to be happy though." He also commented that she's only 25 and a "pup" and that she has a chance (again, my projecting, I was thinking "oh but you don't..."). He also said during the convo "Life's tough, that's for sure." I asked him what he meant and he said "Well isn't it?"

On the positive side, he gave me a really funny grin one time and I asked "What're you thinking? What was that for?" (kidding tone) and he said "Well you, of course. I looked at you and smiled."

This piecing stuff is confusing!!

I have decided to focus more on GALing again and less on scheduling with/around H.. not sure what more I need to do, though. Thoughts are welcome as always!