Sashaying thru Seperation IV

[mcojh]

Strange night. W called about tomorrow, as she is working and if I wanted the boys with me or not. That spiraled into her saying we never talk anymore blah blah blah. I asked her hat has changed, and she said nothing, and went into the whole ILYBNILWY thing. She asked me to go through mediation rather than get two attorney's. I said I was against that at this time.

I decided to go for broke and lay my feelings out on the line. I told her that IL her and always have. I told her that I want a R with her, but I felt I couldn't pursue a R because she wouldn't accept it. I told her that I wanted to do special things for her but was afraid that she would reject me. I told her about how I want to be able to call her and say hi, but feel like I would ne intruding.

I told her that we were both changed people and we needed to give us a chance before filing for D. We talked for almost an hour and I told her how I felt and what I wanted. I took responsibility for what I had done in our R, but was clear that I was not all at fault. I also told her what she had done was horrible and yet I was willing to try to forgive her.

During the talk, I said things about us reconciling several times and she never said no, or yes for that matter. I don't know what will come of this, but if she refuses, what else can I do? She gives me the impression in one breath that she is dead set on a D, and then tells me that she doesn't know what to do.
She also made a odd statement. She told me that she didn't want to touch me because it gave me false hope.....WTH....

Smiling and waving.

(Oh, I asked her about tomorrow night and told her that her not responding to my invitation was rude. I told her I would talk to her tomorrow about it. I feel like we need to go out and talk at least.)

One other thing I almost laughed at, I said something about how good I feel and look from losing weight and working out, she replied, its not all about looks......I guess so when the OM is fat....