Madonna/Whore Complex Part 4

[Heywyre]

Busted indeed Lou - lol

I know there are some things that still need to be addressed and "let go of" from when I was a child. I harboured a lot of hate towards my mother and didn't reconcile with her until a couple of years before she passed away. My father, because of his medical problems, was distant, usually cold and quite often walking around in a daze due to medication he was on.

My saviour in all of this was my maternal grandmother. She never remarried after she divorced when my mother was only 5 years old (as a matter of fact she wore her wedding ring until she died almost 50 years later. It was a the weirdest thing. My grandfather died (and he had been remarried for about 40 years) and then my grandmother died the next month. I know these things happen when people live together but they weren't. Guess she really loved him until the day she died.

Anyway, my grandmother was a saint (in my eyes). She worked her butt off and financially bailed our family out so, so many times it isn't funny. Memories of her are the best ones I have. She favoured the boys in the family but I think that was because she lost one of her own (therefore my mother was an only child). If it wasn't for my grandmother, we wouldn't have celebrated Christmas, Easter, had school clothes in September to wear etc.

But having said all of that, I like the person I am today. Did I enjoy my childhood, no. Did my parents do the right thing, no. Am I emotionally damaged because of it, sure I am.

But, I am also strong, independent and have succeeded careerwise better than a lot of the other kids in my neighbourhood. I am a good person. I am kind, loving, nurturing. I get along with just about anyone. I am thrifty (detest shopping - lol) a hell of a good cook (my H's opinion), can sew, do crafts, etc. etc. Basically, I am an all-around good catch. So, would I go back - no way!!