Unfortunately I don't think right and fair get to vote. I think trying to compare how different people react to similar situations can have some usefullness, but at the same time, everyone is different, and every situation is different. We will never know all of the back story in someone else's situation. om and his wife 'appear' fine, but what's really there? You don't know. And in any case, despite everything, it isn't relevant to you. (I know you know that, but sometimes a reminder is ok, I hope.)
As far as you go, it's obvious that you are sorry. But, have you forgiven yourself? I think until you really forgive yourself you'll find that it is harder for someone else to forgive you. Could you be trying too hard to show that you are sorry?
