LFL It sounds like most men are NOT going to let go of that fear. I lost the anxiety for many years. It is back because of circumstances and things I have heard and experienced.
And to top it all off, the HDW are looked at as "freaks Some freak is good! Come on LFL, I don't consider you a freak.
No LFL, HDW's are not freaks. They are different for some guys. The guy in this case might not know or understand which ice cream flavor is your favorite because he likes something else. Maybe he is a tapioca guy and doesn’t see what all the fuss is about when people talk about Häagen-Dazs.
I think Mojo has it right GGG (good, game and giving) is lacking in some men that are in a R with a higher drive woman. This goes for women as well.
fact remains, HDW are NOT accepted in society ...... That is because LDW gets too much press. If you are HD, can you talk about it as easily as some LD women among other women? I don’t get invited to too many of these parties, except here on the SSM forum.
I think even the Alpha males are not going to fully appreciate the HDW because she is somewhat of a threat to his masculinity. Again, too much press saying something similar to, the man usually doesn’t marry up. He has to be better than the woman. It is perfectly OK for a woman to marry up.
It can be tough on some guys, supposedly having to be better, more knowledgeable than the woman, to be her hero.
Maybe that is one reason there is a M/W problem.
A guy can be with a hooker/OW who he has little fear of ridicule, abandonment, complaints or embarrassment because he isn't better, more skilled, or more aggressive than her. If the R doesn't work, no big deal sometimes. He doesn't have to always be better. More skilled, concerned he does it B style when she wants it C style.
It sounds like most men are NOT going to let go of that fear. I'm sure many of the men on this board, if not most, believe everything cac and others have written. I'm positive Lou does. He said as much. Let me take back the jail stuff. I did see it happen, but feel that case was not the norm I would expect.
I will stick with some/too many cases where Aggressive" is bad.
I saw a minor version of this the entire Duke U. lacrosse team. All a young lady has to do is wake up and find herself unhappy with her behavior the night before, and decide she wants to re-write history, and your life is ruined.
I know two men that quit jobs because they were accused of something. Automatically the woman’s position was upheld and in effect, the guys had to prove their innocence.
I was, accused of being aggressive. It happened to me working with the boys in the group home. I was sent a letter saying I might serve time in jail. No one asked me what happened. No one wanted my version until the state sent an investigator from the State Department of Corrections, Internal Affairs Department, a week later.
I hate to think what I would have had to go through if the group home had girls as residents.
Two guys I met a few times quit jobs that involved females. The downside risks were too great for them, especially when the job in general was so difficult.
It’s sad one has to think about what could go wrong and miss out on how much fun can be had.
With a willing partner, I could lose the fears that have built up, so I don’t think a few bad experiences totally influences a person’s future.
Would I ever go for rimming? Most likely, like 99.9%, no. Could I learn to like to pull BB’s hair if she liked it, yes.
