I too was a snooper...I think we all start out that way even when we know we shouldn't...it is like you are so in denial what else can you do to believe it is really happening...
You are better then me though...I called the OW (of course before I found out they had already met and consumated their illicit A)...I poured it out to her...by the end of the call she was crying...saying she was feeling guilty even though had nothing to feel guilty for (okay, so she lied...and then got pissed when later I found out she lied...)...as much as it would seem that this would have really hurt things...it didn't...because in time she couldn't live with the guilt...you see I became TOO REAL to her...and even though it took time the A eventually ended....H later told me that in part becuase she was "haunted" by the things I had told her and she really didn't want to feel like she was to blame for the breakup of our M...
I think you doing great...sounds like you have it together...
