Touching her shoulder and her hand are nice. Everyone needs touch. It doesn't always have to be "invasive." Kind of play it by ear and DONT BE OFFENDED IF SHE PULLS AWAY (sometimes I'd pull away or he would. It was never personal, just our own way of dealing with things). I think friendly touches are a great start. I did that with my husband. Even at our worst we'd sometimes hug just as we were parting. But we were separated and in divorce. It was like being ripped apart so I think we both craved some type of connection.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Will they have any scary rides at the amusement park? Like a ghost train or something.
I reckon you won't have to worry about your little touches if you get her on one of those rides. I think you may find her on your lap...............
But I would say you have already planned this, you sly dog.
It's great that you guys are going, make sure it is a happy day for her to remember. But seriously, let her instigate any hand holding or the like. You can still brush her back as you navigate through the crowds, or hold her hand when getting off a ride etc. But choose your moments wisely, with no pressure to her (intimacy wise).
Good luck and keep on keeping on. AndyV
AndyV M38 W36 D7 M 13 years Together 17 years W wants D mid Dec 06 (ring off) W wants separation early Jan 07 (she backdated to Oct 06) EA revealed end March 07 (Nov 06 W first meeting with OM) Hallmark moment "I care for you but am no longer in love with you."
The lap top computer my W bought me (with my money) came today. See I get the bonus twice a year at work and I ALWAYS pay bills with it. I just received on first one this year. I was out side and my W came out and said I should get a lap top computer with some of the bonus this year. (If I was going to blow that much money I would rather get something for my jeep) but having her suggest that I spend that much money on myself made me think I always put my wants aside for the family. And since she suggested the lap top witch I could use. Why not. She asked me If I wanted her to order it. Since she knows more about computers than me, I told her OK. She spent about a week researching them picked one selected upgrades and even went up two models from the one I looked at. I kind of figure she might be feeling guilty and wanted to do something for me so I let her. Soooooooo now when she gets home tonight and we look at it together I think it will be a great opportunity to say: This is really nice I have to give ya a hug for this........
What do ya think?
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Ok wife just called and said she was going to stop and buy me a wireless router for our computer so I can use my new laptop anywhere in the house. Does this sound like something she would be doing if she was not planning on keeping me around? I don't want to be ROOM MATES though
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Nobody believes me when I tell them that you're out of your mind. Nobody believes me when I tell them that there's so much you hide. You treat me like a queen when we go out, wanna show everyone what our love's about. All wrapped up in me whenever there is a crowd, But when no ones around;
There's no kindness in your eyes, the way you look at me, it's just not right. I can tell whats going on this time, Theres a stranger in my life. You're not the person that I once knew. Are you scared to let them know it's you? If they could only see you like I do, Then they would see a stranger too..
Did I ever do anything that was this cruel to you? Did I ever make you wonder who was standing in the room? You made yourself look perfect in everyway, So when this goes down, I'm the one that will be blamed. Your plan is working so you can just walk away, Baby your secret's safe.
There's no kindness in your eyes, the way you look at me, it's just not right. I can tell whats going on this time, Theres a stranger in my life. You're not the person that I once knew. Are you scared to let them know it's you? If they could only see you like I do, Then they would see a stranger too..
Such a long way back, from this place we arrived. When I think of all the time I've wasted, I could cry..
There's no kindness in your eyes, the way you look at me, it's just not right. I can tell whats going on this time, Theres a stranger in my life. You're not the person that I once knew. Are you scared to let them know it's you? If they could only see you like I do, Then they would see a stranger too..
There's no kindness in your eyes, The way you look at me, it's just not right. I can tell whats going on this time, Theres a stranger in my life. You're not the person i once knew. Are you scared to let them know it's you? If they could only see you like I do, Then they would see a stranger too.. By HILARY DUFF
Husband (This is ME except i'd be a king not queen)
Last edited by husband; 05/31/0711:36 PM.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
hey husband, I was reading your first entries and it seems like you've come a long way since May 3rd! Your wife is doing nice things for you and you're noticing! I really envy you.
I wanted to know if the OM is now out of her life? As mentioned, my W is having an A w/ 22 yr old kid and it's been going on about 4 months. I sure hope she grows out of it.
Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you on some successes and hope that your sitch is very common in that the W becomes her nice self again.
ME: 39 ring on wife:38 ring off WAW/MLC son:17,11 dtr:9 mar:17yr Bomb4-27-07. EA/PA 2/07 with 22yr old. DBing 5-19-07 My story on the link below. http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1069470&page=0#Post1069470
WAW The OM lives out of state. The have not had physical contact since I found out. I know this because the W has not gone away for the weekend. The were talking to each other on the phone several times a day. I did some research (snooping) I know he is married, I know where he lives. I actually looked at his house on Google earth. I know where he works. But every time I checked the log and saw how much and when they were talking my heart broke a little more soooooooo everybody here yelled at me for snooping so I stopped about 2 weeks ago seems longer. With all this stuff going on time kind of stands still. I do feel better It is like he does not exist. So I do not know if they are still talking. I can’t tell her to stop. I keep telling myself I have to give her nothing to talk to him about. We have come along way. I feel that the runaway train has stopped but now I need to get it back to the station. We are idle right now yea we move about an inch or two back. But I want the momentum to start up. Some major things planed for this weekend. Then I’ll be away from home for a week. I am hoping this could be the turning point. She has never mentioned the D word. But the one and only C session we had together she said something about being roommates. This will not cut it with me in the long run but I am just playing it day by day.
Things take time. I have my bad days. When I do I come here and someone always knocks me up along side my head and sets me back on course.Good luck If you need any advise let me know. I'm far better at giving it than using it.
husband
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I too was a snooper...I think we all start out that way even when we know we shouldn't...it is like you are so in denial what else can you do to believe it is really happening...
You are better then me though...I called the OW (of course before I found out they had already met and consumated their illicit A)...I poured it out to her...by the end of the call she was crying...saying she was feeling guilty even though had nothing to feel guilty for (okay, so she lied...and then got pissed when later I found out she lied...)...as much as it would seem that this would have really hurt things...it didn't...because in time she couldn't live with the guilt...you see I became TOO REAL to her...and even though it took time the A eventually ended....H later told me that in part becuase she was "haunted" by the things I had told her and she really didn't want to feel like she was to blame for the breakup of our M...
I think you doing great...sounds like you have it together...
That is what I would like to happen I just want to call and say Hi. He knows me. I have never met him but before the wife & I married (16 years ago)he was her BF. He dumped her and she was really hurt. I would just like to call and say Hi how ya doing? Remember Me I'm XXXXX HUSBAND and hang up. But.............that would upset the apple cart if ya know what I mean.I would be back to day one of DBing I have put too much into this now to start over. That is one thing I do have to look forward to if we do D. The OM (who is married) world will be turned up side down. Any way I'm up here in Petaluma.... North of San Fran
Husband
Last edited by husband; 06/01/0703:21 AM.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
