Just saw this crazyness and thanks, I so needed a laugh. I hope I am laughing with you by now (not at you) as it is the best thing for you to do. Do you have any idea how great these stories will be at the bar next time it is your turn to tell one?
Now I am going to make Three Wishes.
Wish Number One ... buy her a new F**king $100 dollar grille, or a $150 dollar ... what will it take? Don't think "her" old grille will ever get clean enough. No one owes her that anyway. Tell bro to keep it as a gift. Tell X that "her newly gifted one" should be at least as good as the used "shared gifted one" that was not even addressed in the decree. She must choose between new/clean and used/as-is. If you will do it, if she will accept it, pour a drink and think of all the birthday gifts you are not going to buy her, the anniversary gifts, Christmas money you will save.
Wish Number Two ... Start working on a trusted relationship with someone that will baby sit in emergencies. Pay well. Remember it is worth it to not have an X anything enter your home. No excuses. No leverage. No missing soup spoon.
Wish Number Three ... Contemplate on all this stupidity. Understand the nature of it. She is not happy. She is not going to be happy. She has lost control, and doesn't like that. She will never like that. So expect more of the same and be prepared. Be prepared to respond to stupidity with two things. Monty Python style solutions, and a deep reverence for your own mental stability. Don't let stupid get to you. Be Teflon. Apply humor. Season it with your favorite drink. Then laugh your rear off at stupid for all it is worth.
What a blessing this will be for you. Enjoy the view from the high road. Throw used bubble gum out the window at all those below you who prefer to travel the low road. Tell them it is a "gift".
You should always change locks on your castle when someone you can no longer trust had keys. Cost of ownership. You don't need her permission. You don't owe her an explanation. She has no business in your home. She is not your family, and clearly not your friend.
