Sorry to hear you are in this place right now. Please take it slow. I know you want to be in a better place soon but that truly does not mean it has to be divorce.
You can be civil with each other but I would not go through the process of divorce "together". Please get seperate attorneys and let your H start the process. This doesn't mean you have to be uncooperative or nasty but you certainly can let him do the initial leg work. You just dont walk away from a marriage of this many years in several months... no matter what he may think at this time... it just doesnt happen.
Take a step back and try to pull yourself together so you can be supportive to the kids etc. No need to even tell the kids of the pending divorce just yet. Just continue down the seperation path as far as the kids are concern. Try your best to detach from H for the next few weeks. This will help you pull yourself together.
