Duty, love, and attitude

[Crazy Eddie]

(Note to self: get some wall maps and hang them up as reminders)

Now if someone is hiding in their nice cozy shell, it may take a good dose of fear to get them out. But that's only the first step.. If there's no reward waiting for them, the only thing they'll end up doing is looking around for another shell to crawl into, preferably one much farther away from whoever pushed them out of the first one. Cadesmom knows what I'm talking about. She was in her little comfort zone, she got a good dose of fear to get her out of it, and then instead of staying with the fear and trying to avoid divorce with fear as her motivation, she embraced and moved toward the rewards that were waiting for her... the hot sex, love, and companionship that her husband was waiting to give her if only she would accept it and give him back what he wanted in return. She still felt fear, but I would say (speaking as an outside observer, of course) that it didn't dominate her thinking... her main motivation after being pushed out of her shell was the hope of gaining the deep joy, happiness, and pleasure that a good, close, loving sexual relationship will bring.

And she used the same reward to bring him back home... she didn't inflict guilt on him as a way of pushing him home, she used her body and her heart and the benefits of her companionship to lure him home, demonstrating that a much different wife awaited him if he would only go to her and embrace her and overcome his fear that she was plotting to trap him and starve him of affection once again.