So, I went ot talk to our psychiatrist yesterday. We've been to him twice and he just wrote H off as a liar. When I went in yesterday, I told him about all H's behaviors, the things he says, etc... After I was done, he said he did agree that he had ADD and also probably bi-polar with impulse control problems. He said that he needs to be on meds and if he does go on meds, hte quality of his life will improve.
H doesn't know I went. I scheduled an appt for us to both go tomorrow and h agreed. So, I'm looking at this a little differently. He's not just some jerk who is unwilling to shed himself of OW. He is a sick man who is unable to shed himself of OW becuase he has a problem controlling his impulses.
I don't think H knows why he does the things he does. He has tried to shed himself of OW and she has persisted. One TM I read months and months ago from her said, "I'm thinking about you and hope you decide to talk to me". So, when he tries, she pursues and he cannot seem to resist for long periods of time. Another TM I read a few months ago was, "I can't stop thinking about you. YOu're all I think about. How can I be with someone else when you're all I think about".
So, my approach now is to see how H responds to his diagnosis and recommendation for medication. After that is resolved, I'm hoping he'll start to see OW for the poison that she is and stop contact and start making wiser decisions. Until a month ago, he was working with her. He has since changed jobs. That shoudl help as well.
The psychiatrist thanked me for pursuing this issue further. He said he was ready to write H off as a liar, but said that upon further evaluation, there is more to it than that. This is someone who has an illness that needs to be resolved wiht medication.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
