Things have been relatively peaceful. I am seriously pursuing this idea of; 'don't disagree'. Simple enough. She's not abusive so getting walked on is not an issue, therefore I have no problem with just agreeing with whatever comes out of her mouth.
Fortunately W has backed off from all R talk so that does make it easier. Our last conversation that came close to R talk was Saturday and that didn't go far as I told her what of my actions is saying that I'm not hearing you; found another place to live, dividing assets, not making any plans for dates or spending time together, of those things, which one demonstrates to you that I'm not hearing you and preparing to move on with my life?
That was the last of that conversation. Thankfully.
Yesterday W asked me if I want to go to Michigan for the 4th of July. This is the second time this week that she has mentioned future plans with me involved. Actually there was a third. Sunday night she was talking with one of our friends and this friend, (a teacher), has 2 small children, mentioned that she needs a night out. W invited her to go with W and her sister to a jazz club either tonight or next Thursday night, or maybe both. Friend mentioned childcare issues, W said, "okay, well see what you can work out, I'll have tyler at home with my kids so I can go, just let me know". Okay.
Later that night all of us were talking around the fire and one mentioned a Motown Night at a local club. Everyone is talking about going and W looks at me and says, "do you want to go?". Of course I would want to go, it sounds like good music and a lot of fun. W says, "okay, I have to lead the next morning though so I can't be out late and if it's really smokey in there I might not be able to stay long at all". Okay.
Then yesterday she mentions the 4th of July plan.
Okay. She knows she has asked for a separation when the kids get out of school, June 5th. She knows all of the stuff I've done to make this happen, to give her what she wants. Now she wants to make plans with me?
On a related yet unrelated note, she is starting to relax more and more around me. She is actually starting to make small talk with me, and just general conversation type stuff. This has been gone for a long time. We were joking around while catching up on TIVO'd episodes of The Shield last night, trying to figure out if the 'concerned father' was really all that concerned or just trying to keep his nose in the investigation.
She fell asleep again pretty close to me and facing me.
So, how am I interpreting all of these little things?
Simply that the changes in me are affecting our R in that there is peace now. This allows her to relax around me and not see me as an adversary, someone to be pounced on every time I open my mouth. There is nothing coming from me that could be interpreted as a shot at her. I'm staying so far from any hot topics, there is just no way. It's taken all the wind out of her sails.
