thanks for reminding me of something important but easy to forget. I DO have a choice and so many do not...My prayer is to open my mind and heart to the possibility of being happy there and to open my heart to h, to ask for help healing our M. My h is better at being a man than some of my posts reveal. Fact is, we all mostly vent here. It's not quite balanced and you also do have to recall that when others tell You to blow your Marriage off b/c all they hear and see are the negatives. Then, my thinking is that I need some specifics in my mind as to what being happy there would look like. DB coach suggested that, and she's smart to do so. Also suggested H do the same (he may see this as a "list of TO DO" things--which he'll like. For me, all I can do is lessen the risk, never eliminating it. But then that IS life.
Seriously though, I have thought DAILY of cancelling out and just saying NOPE, NOT GOING, and letting him file, or doing so myself. How uncertain can that get? See, I do feel like an MLCer but it's really just a LBSer wondering, after all this inward searching and counselling, etc. whether it/he is worth it....but I have to remind myself that there are others in this to consider...d9 will face upheaval, but she'll have a dad around. Some of the upheaval won't be negative, it'll be adventurous and I think that IS the attitude to have. Just gotta work on it, hard. Thanks again. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
