I always consider what’s best for Andy. I cannot, in my particular circumstance, foresee D as something that could be in my or my W’s best interest. There are a multitude of reasons. Looking at it from a cold hard outside perspective, it is not economically feasible. Nor is it feasible in terms of family – especially considering our obligations to our autistic son.
Frankly, if she cannot learn to love me, a loveless M is the best case scenario.
I take some comfort in the fact that this is true not only for me, but for my W. I think that in the same way it forced me to make personal changes, my W may find herself having to do the same thing.
As to the irony part, I have to tell ya, KAW, that the immense stress of our life – especially considering having four children; one of whom is autistic – forces us to protect our self-interests. Once my W came to the conclusion that we couldn’t do it together, she had to do it herself. It’s sad, but not ironic.
That’s why “what’s good for Andy” isn’t my only consideration. And it may not seem like it, but “what’s right for W” isn’t her only consideration either. If it was, and in her current mindset, she probably would already have filed.
