Quoting KAW: She believes these are the continuing acts of unforgivable selfishness on your behalf??
No, KAW. She doesn’t believe that. But you have to realize two things. Firstly, what you just described was your interpretation of what I have done. Not hers. To her mind, all of the things you described are things I should have done from the get-go. They’re things that I shouldn’t have had to change.
Secondly, there is a “new” issue which puts a cloud over our entire 23 year relationship. Please don’t ask me what it is. It’s not something I really want to discuss.
So right now, I must continue to do what I should have been doing all along and trust W to forgive me. It don’t mean nothin’ that you may not think there’s anything to forgive. It don’t mean nothin’ that I may not think there’s anything to forgive. The only thing that matters is that SHE thinks there’s something to forgive, and that she finds the strength to do so.
And it’s not just a matter of forgiveness. She also has to accept aspects of me that she doesn’t like. She has to learn to look at the good stuff and ignore the bad stuff. All I can do to help her is not to throw the bad stuff in her face as a constant reminder.
And it goes back to what I posted to you before. I (and you too, KAW) have to trust my W’s ability to do that.
