Quoting KAW: Andy, I'm so sorry to hear that your W still hasn't been able to forgive or let go what is in the past. Honestly, I don't see how any words can say any louder what your actions of the past two years state about your feelings and intentions. I'm truly at a loss to how she can continue to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to an Andy who has demonstrated so persistantly that he is no longer the Andy she turned away from. I know you have your reasons for staying away from here, but if you feel you need a sounding board, we're all ears and take care...
It's quite simple, KAW.
She experiences her life through her own mind's eye. As hard as I've tried, I've done things and said things that to her perspective, are completely contrary to what I've been trying to do.
I've been trying hard. You all know that. I think W knows that too, but in her view, there are basic flaws in my attitude. Trying isn't enough.
I guess the key word in what you said is "demonstrated."
What I "demonstrated" to her was pure selfishness. In her world, nothing's changed.
I'm not saying that she lives in some alien world. All I'm saying is that how she experienced OR, like anyone else, is her experiences. Mine are quite different. Our experiences are our own.
That's what makes trusting our SOs so difficult. We're never quite sure how they view us.
You're going through this too, KAW. I'm glad that you haven't damaged your R to the same degree I have. Your W still empathizes with you (thus the apology for "putting you through that."
Well, I didn't come here to whine. I just hope you realize that as long as you have mutual empathy, there's a lot of hope.
