I think I have prepared myself somewhat.... I hear that "realistic" voice in my head... I guess maybe I am just not ready to hear it come out of his mouth.
And thank you for saying that I have been graceful through my ordeal. It is nice to hear things like that from time to time. Sometimes I think i am not "following" the "right" script. I have so many people judging me and telling me that I am doing the wrong things... that it is nice to have someone say that I might be doing okay.
I know there isn't a script and I def. see that after going through this no two people experience this nor go through it the same way. We all have to take our own path to healing. Some of us go about it the "unconvential" way. We don't turn away from our X. We don't spew nastiness in their direction always. We don't lash out at all that is being thrown on us.
I try to "take the high road". I didn't deserve this, no one does. And I can only try to hold my head up high and stick to my convictions and continue to be who I am. I am a very loving and forgiving person and I can't let his actions change that in me. No matter how many tears he has caused me to shed... I can't change me... and sadly me loves him unconditionally in good times and bad, in sickness and in health.
