I just got back from a ceremony for my daughters Sparks troup. All the guiding units were there gradutating to the next level. Some of our friends were there, they all have plans to particiapte in a walk for cancer next week. I felt so left out cause I wasnt invited. They were discussing the time they were gonna meet and how they were gonna decorate and all that. I understand that they probably dont know how to approach me after all this, but it still hurts. I always had feelings that these people didnt care for me and now I think its a true feeling. Then I got ot thinking about why he isnt moving on this seperation business. I havent heard a thing about it since he came over to make one out on May 17. Not one word. Then I thought about what he makes and how much money he has left at the end of the week. He pays 200 for the mortgage on a house he doesnt live in, he pays the family he is living with 60 a week and he gives me 100 a week. He brings in 450 a week. Why would he want to continue to pay a mortgage on a house he doesnt live in especially when he says he wants to move out of the place he is staying so badly. He says he wants to buy a hosue of his own and that he is gonna save up for a down payment but I cant see how thats happening with the little amount of money he is left with. I am so confused by him. I dont know what to do. I felt great about myself all day until this. We were chatting over TM all day about various things. I really hate myself foe missing him so much and for not wanting to discuss any of this with him cause Idont want to hear the truth. Can anyone shed some light? Heather
