We all know I started out as an LD on this board. Way so. I seem to have come a long way, and quite honeslty, I'm not sure that I was ever LD, but given my circumstances, just reacted that way.
I like sex. I like it a lot.
But my boyfriend... given his history... is not one to initiate. I have to start it. Always. For some time now, that has been a wonderful thing for me. But now... it grows weary. I want him to 'top my top.' I'm, after all, a very TOP female.
But he won't.
If I do not pick up on my BFs subtle clues... nothing goes anywhere. I'd like him to be more assertive. But he is not.
After a time, this is going to be a problem for us. I've faced my sexual issues... but I don't think he is willing to face HIS sexual issues.
But what he did for me... was be very patient. And I try to give that back to him. I bring it up. "You seemed to be uncomfortable when xyz happened..." I bring it to his attention immediately. I have to ask for what I want. To show him what I like. In blunt terms,... I have to instruct him to be... what he used to be... an agressive male. He worries. He doesn't want to piss me off... or get it wrong... or do something stupid.
Unfortunately, for a time... you are going to have to be the agressor and the teacher. The instructor. And you are going to get EXACTLY what you ask for. Which is not a turn on. You want... creativity, too. But he has to learn it. He has to find safety in it. And that is going to take some time. That is why I was encouraging you to the tantric sex class. He can learn from someone other than you... but you are there to give him encouragement.
