HB- I too wish I lived closer to you to give you a big hug. My H and I separated at the same time you did. I know something about the roller coaster you have been on...it sucks. My H claims there is no OW, but I don't have a lot of trust. About 14 years ago, I found out about my first H's OW on the day my daughter was due to be born. I wish I knew about DBing then because I did everything that you weren't supposed to. Having gone through that and now having my 2nd marriage possibly fail, I am still having difficulty detaching and just giving him his space. I am fairly new to all of this, but from what I have read, the best shot we have to get our husbands to come around is detach. IMO, you do need to do everything you can to let him go for now. It is hard for me to get it through my thick skill that the more I push, the more needy I seem to him, the more he backs away. We LBS have to be strong and show them that we aren't going to fall apart if they aren't in our lives. I know my H doesn't like needy women and I am sure that is the way he perceives me now. It is hard as he** to be strong and have a PMA when your life is in shambles, but that is exactly what we need to do to attract them to us again. It may or may not work, but hopefully we are able to give it our best shot...right?
