Thanks for this. There is nothing wrong with compromise, not at all. I have been willing to compromise along the way.
I know that throwing fuel on the fire will not make it go out. I also know that just because she acts this way doesn't mean I have to. I know already - but your friendly reminder is welcome.
It is easy to allow their behavior to get to you. I was shaking when I was installing the locks yesterday - shaking! I am sick and tired of being scared of what she is going to do. You know, each step of the D process, I felt better and was able to let go. For example, after we signed the D agreement in March 07. Then she would freak out over something and there goes the stress level again - her threatening me along the way.
When does it stop? I don't know if it ever will. But for me, I have made a decision. I WILL NOT let anything she does get to me. Now I know actions are louder than words. But I didn't have to react by getting upset about the items she stole from my home. All I had to do was respond by changing the locks. I know it could have been handled differently and even better. I just grow tired of her garbage - as I said enough is enough. Her behavior is totally draining.
You know - I was very cordial to her this morning and then on the phone about some upcoming childcare arrangements for the summer. She seems fine with the locks being changed and I am so relieved that I have my own living space without her removing items or treating me disrespectfully in my own home. So while changing the locks seemed like a harsh thing to do, it was going to happen within the next two weeks anyways and in the end, perhaps everyone is happier.
When two people butt heads - there is often nothing that will get solved. I know this already, but it is not easy. The stress of this D has gotten to me over the last several months. For me, I need to get back to the high road and my "happy place". It has been so long since I have worked out and I need this for my mental and physical health. I am finally done with her nonesense (for now...). I know there will be more, but if it affects me, I will simply respond instead of react.
Thanks again for the time Althea and others. I do appreciate it.
