I can remember doing things like that with my husband. For me, I think it may have been my weight that I was using to push him away from me. On the one hand, I was mad at him for not being able to help me, (irrational and unfair, I know) and on the other, I think that somewhere inside, I thought that if he left me for my weight, then it wouldn't be a blow against my personality. So, I guess you could say I was trying to do a preemptive strike. Of course, my efforts at pushing my husband away, only made me feel worse.
Perhaps the best thing you could do for your wife is to do some research about depression's effects on loved ones. Or maybe get some counseling to help you deal with the effects.
If nothing else, maybe these will reassure you that you aren't alone and that these are common actions.
Now for my disclaimer.
I'm speaking from my experience. I'm not qualified to speak for anyone else!
