You don't have to feel guilty for not wanting to return his gestures BECAUSE they don't feel "right" to you. I wonder if you feel like they are "rewards" for backing down and letting him get his way. A true loving gesture would be to acknowledge you.
That's exactly how I feel. I didn't WANT to accept his gestures, so I didn't. I explained a little about what I think H is attempting to do with these gestures in a post to GEL. I agree that a loving gesture is to acknowledge my feelings. He certainly expects me to acknowledge his!! I guess that's part of the resentment and part of what makes me feel so controlled at times....he expects so much of me, yet gives so little on the very things he expects from me. I don't get it.
it would help YOU and HIM to communicate exactly how you feel. Just try to do it in a way that focuses on the immediate issues and doesn't back him into a corner.
You're probably right. I'll think more about what I might want to say.
Keep it focused on how YOU FEEL and not on his actions or his true feelings.
Got it!
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
