Need Veteran Piecer's Advice - desperately!!!

[Heartbroken]

Thanks A & A

I sent an email stating I needed to stop calling and reaching out to him and that I wasn't closing the door just starting to focus on me. His reply is "thanks and I know that came from the heart and I too will never shut the door and I want you to know that I have absolutely no intentions of re-marrying..." WTH WTH WTH does this mean????? He is so ready for me to throw in the towel the slightest admission of defeat and he's already gone for good.

That's it - I need to focus on me and the kids and mean it- my walk has to be my talk. Stop pretending that I am done trying and stop thinking/obsessing about H and US - JUST LET IT GO - How can I end my dream and how can I let the best friend I have had for 20 yrs just call it quits. I need to figure this out before I go crazy from lack of sleep and healthy food.

I deserve to be LOVED AND WANTED 100% and I know I deserve better but 20 yrs of knowing him takes some time to get over. Baby steps and I will take it one day at a time. Thank God for my kids - they force me to be strong...

Just want to go home, crawl into bed and dream happy dreams...

Just venting - sorry. PMA and I will get through this one way or another...


Thanks for the hugs - I really could use them right now...