Hope, I will email you soon. I would love to chat with you.
IMP - before I say anything, I will say this, I really do find kernels of value in much of what you say. I think at times, what you and OT say are hard to hear here....mostly b/c we do experience a lot of craziness with our spouses that is different in most cases in other forums. I'm not saying this to feel "special" in any way.
But, I do find what the both of you say, to be accurate - in terms of finding your own path, living your life and not letting it end with the choice of another. Just today I was reminded of that when my mother told me "if you sink with this, we will sink, so you cannot stop living." Very true.
BUT, I will also say this. It took me 1 year to start to understand anything close to MLC. I still doubt it. How sad is that? Only b/c I myself am sane. It's hard to believe the person you once knew is gone and totally the opposite...not a nice opposite, but horrific. And, this is not b/c D is painful, rather that their actions are truly mean.
You yourself mentioned that your W did not act weird or insane. She did not change her personality radically, not just with you but with others. So, please try to understand this perspective.
Many of us here, including Hope, are dealing with spouses who stopped being parents, dropped out of life, spew anger beyond comprehension, lie, cheat, steal, lose jobs, become alcoholics, gamblers, spend money wildly, lose friends, make rash decisions (not including the decision of a D), give no explanation, and cut loose without a word.
I don't know your sitch, but I suspect that a lot of these things were not present, or you are incredibly forgiving and forgetful, to have made such a wonderful R with your XW now.
I know this. I try to take my H seriously. Take him for face value. It hurts. But, if I were to tell anyone the string of actions/behaviors he has taken in nearly 2 years, it would make anyone question his sanity. Not just things that have to do with me, or the M.
Keep posting, IMP...we value your opinion. Just try to understand where we are comign from.
I read what you refered about Jung (not Yung)....and it's interesting. I also think that many folks here and other readings will also point to another cue, childhood issues or other traumatic events, that cause this crisis. Maybe it's not a MLC anymore, but a new "crisis" of sorts to be defined. I know that in my H's case, his childhood definately plays a role here.
