Thanks for replying IP, sorry to hear that you feel the same way.
I have tried talking to H about it and each time i feel really low i try to explain to him how i'm feeling and that i am scared of it all going wrong again, but he always seems to get annoyed. This always ends up the same way - he feels annoyed and i feel unsupported. This was one of our major problems before the split - That "cheeseless tunnel". Finally, the other day we managed to talk about it in a different way and he explained to me that he just doesn't like it when i try to talk about how i feel. He says no matter how much he tries he cannot understand it and he feels as if it is a critisism of him which is why it irritates him. He knows that i want him to be more supportive but by talking about "feelings" just has the opposite effect. So i am going to try not to be so emotional around him and when i feel low (for no apparent reason) i will talk to my sister instead, and when i have a specific problem i will talk to him. It's just like it says in the mars/venus book, men like to solve things, if there is an actual problem they are ok to talk about it but if it is an emotional feeling with no actual answer then they don't really understand what all the fuss is about.
I know i need to go back to doing the things which helped me save our marriage. I am going to list some of them as a reminder to me in case i go off the rails again.
1. Be more decisive 2. Stop analysing everything 3. Choose not to be anxious, just deal with problems if or when they happen. 4. Be more upbeat and positive 5. Think of one task at a time, so as not to get overwhelmed with what needs to be done. 6. Prioritise tasks and be pleased with any achievements. 7. Stop crying in front of him.
I could go on but these should help me get back on track for now.
