Hey don't go getting defensive Heather...I'm giving you observations. But then maybe you aren't defensive, it's just how it sounds to me.
However, to answer your question. If I did find Porn or other adult website activity after my H told me he was no longer doing it (which I have if you remember correctly)...he'd get at the most two chances (the one when he already tripped up and I found it and one last one if that happens because as much as I would like to believe he'd go completely cold turkey immediately, it's a habit, and habits take a little time and reinforcement to break for many people) to screw up. Remember, I have been in that situation with my H already, he HAS screwed up once since I uncovered what he was doing, after that screw up he gets ONE last chance, but so far fortunately we haven't needed it. I've made it quite clear to him already that I WILL BE GONE if the behavior continues...there is no waiting a year for me on it. That's my boundary/consequence. YOU have taken that off the table for yourself by committing to the year term and committing to working on things.
So, we have different situations. My view is...as much as you are going to hate this...if you committed to the year...then YOU really need to commit to the year....whether he does or not, you cannot control what he does. If you cannot do that, then based on his behavior (past/present) no one will blame you if you leave....NOT ONE PERSON, myself included. But to stay a year, just because you said you'd stay a year without really committing to it seems like nothing other than putting off the inevitable to me. JMPO
ETA: Heather, I think that when you told him you'd stay for a year and committed to that you gave up a great deal of your power to him in your relationship. I have to wonder sometimes if his behavior isn't a test of sorts (maybe it is, maybe it isn't)....to see how far he can push you before you do up and leave, regardless of what you said about staying a year. He knows you, he knows how to push your buttons. Unfortunately now I don't think you can go back and say "if you continue to behave like this I'm going to rethink my year committment" without losing some serious credibility. Its' a tough situation, I'll admit.
I wonder too...since he's slept out where you are, how about saying something like "either we both sleep in the master bedroom, or we both sleep out here....this sleeping separately situation has gone on long enough. You need to see signs of committment from me, I need to see them from you too...just living under the same roof isn't enough to show "committment"" Just curious what your thoughts are.
